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Unger Suspicion

Calgary’s Big Blue Ring To Undergo $63 Million Upgrade

August 27, 2024 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Just a decade after it first graced the Calgary skyline, the city’s most popular tourist attraction is set to undergo a massive upgrade. “As it is, the Big Blue Ring just couldn’t keep […]

Unger Games

Organizers Apologize For Parody of Rembrandt Mennonite Painting During Olympic Opening Ceremony

July 29, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE An alleged mockery of the most sacred painting in the Mennonite art canon has come under fire this week, calling for boycotts of the Olympic games by various Mennonite groups. The painting in […]

Unger Suspicion

King Charles Unveils Stunning New Portrait

May 15, 2024 Andrew

LONDON, UK In a ceremony earlier this morning, His Majesty King Charles III pulled back the curtain on his very first portrait since ascending to the throne. The image portrays the monarch in vivid detail. […]

Unger Suspicion

Rembrandt Painting Has Been Hanging Upside Down for 400 Years

October 30, 2022 Andrew

BERLIN, GERMANY The Gemäldegalerie in Berlin has recently discovered that the famous Rembrandt painting of a Mennonite pastor and his wife has been hanging upside down for the past four centuries. “I’m not sure how this […]

Unger & Thirst

Protestors Toss Borscht at Van Gogh Painting

October 20, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Protesting the high cost of sunflower seeds, angry Mennonites hurled margarine containers of warmed-up cabbage borscht at the giant Van Gogh painting in Altona, Manitoba this morning. “Well, they attempted to, anyway,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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