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alberta

Unger the Influence

Pierre Poilievre Spotted Parachuting into Tofield, Alberta

August 19, 2025 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Conservative leader Pierre Poilievere has parachuted into the small Mennonite town of Tofield, Alberta this afternoon, where he landed just outside Tilly’s Family Dining. “We love a good aerial performance around here,” said […]

Unger the Influence

Alberta Introduces New “School-Appropriate” Bibles Without ‘Song of Solomon’

July 11, 2025 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB In an effort to “balance religious freedoms with the need to protect our children,” the Alberta Ministry of Edumacation has decided to churn out snazzy new Bibles that exclude anything that might be […]

Unger the Influence

Danielle Smith Announces $334 Billion Plan to Drill for Essential Oils

November 13, 2023 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has just announced a new $334 billion investment in essential oil-drilling, contingent on Alberta getting out of the Canada Pension Plan. “We can handle your pension money. Just trust […]

Unger the Influence

In Resurfaced Music Video, Danielle Smith Calls 75% of Albertans “Crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish Paradise”

May 10, 2023 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB In a recently resurfaced music video from the mid-90s, Alberta Premier Danielle Smith was caught on camera saying that “75% of Albertans are all crazy Mennonites living in an Amish paradise.” “Hitchin’ up […]

Unger Suspicion

Alberta Premier Calls Shirtless Dude at 7-11 “Most Persecuted Man in All of Human History”

October 13, 2022 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Local man Darryl Klassen of Edmonton, who was kicked out of a local 7-11 store this week for wearing nothing but a pair of gym shorts and a mullet, has been called “the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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