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abortion

Unger Suspicion

“Oops, My Bad,” Say Democrats Who Forgot to Codify Roe v. Wade for Almost 50 Years

June 26, 2022 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Crocodile tears were flowing at Democratic Party headquarters this week, as the men in charge of the party, realized that, yet again, they’d been paying lip service to an idea without doing anything […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Supreme Court Rules Life Begins at Baptism

June 25, 2022 Andrew

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND The Mennonite Supreme Court in Zurich ruled 5-4 this weekend that “life begins at baptism around the age of 18 just before you get married.” “If you’re not a baptized member of the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Overturns Hoe v. Spade

May 4, 2022 Andrew

LEETONIA, OH A leaked church bulletin suggests the South Leetonia Old Order Mennonite Church is set to reverse the controversial 1973 Hoe vs. Spade ruling that required all Mennonites to do their gardening using the […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Pro-Life’ President Signs Massive New Arms Deal to Slaughter Innocent People Around the Globe

June 6, 2019 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC This week President Trump bolstered his stance as the most ‘pro-life President the country has ever seen’ by praising heartbeat bills, ordering a bucket of Chick-Fil-A, and signing a massive new arms deal […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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