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Unger & Thirst

Ancient Zwieback Recipe Discovered in Dead Sea Scrolls

January 22, 2018 Andrew

HAIFA, ISRAEL Scientists at Haifa University were shocked to discover a recipe for the dry Mennonite bread known as “zwieback” in the Dead Sea Scrolls. The fragment was the last to be translated and the […]

Unger Suspicion

Singer Ed Sheeran Engaged to Every Woman Who Ever Yelled “Marry Me, Ed” at One of His Concerts

January 22, 2018 Andrew

SUFFOLK, UK According to British law, mellow pop singer Ed Sheeran is legally engaged to more than 12,000 women who have yelled, “marry me,” at his concerts over the years. Among the lucky young women […]

Unger & Thirst

Server Left Waiting Awkwardly at the Table for Mennonite Couple to Finish Praying

January 21, 2018 Andrew

FARGO, ND Poor Diana, a third year NDSU student and part-time server at Chili’s, was left standing at the table for half an hour holding a Mix & Match trio of steak, shrimp and chicken […]

Unger Conviction

Churches Demand All National Parks Be Turned Into Bible Camps

January 20, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Churches across Canada have been up in arms and are demanding that the federal government fund “all proselytizing efforts” with tax-payer’s money. An online petition sponsored by Life Site News has demanded that […]

Unger & Thirst

Tide Pods Added to Grandma’s Delightful Faspa Spread

January 20, 2018 Andrew

YARROW, BC Having heard something of this whole “Tide Pod craze” from her grandchildren, Mrs. Neufeld of Yarrow, 69, decided to spice up the faspa last Sunday by adding a delightful selection of laundry detergent […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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