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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Successfully Convinces Husband to Leave the House

November 23, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After months of incessant requests, area woman Anne Peters finally convinced her husband Donald to leave the house and take her to Chuck’s Roadhouse or something for once. “That man has spent every […]

Unger the Influence

A Full List of Items that will be GST-free for Mennonites Over the Holidays

November 22, 2024 Andrew

Earlier this week, the federal government announced a GST break for several important items over the holiday. The Unger Review has compiled a list of the essential items that Mennonites will be able to purchase […]

Unger Suspicion

Phone Companies Reassure Canadians Exorbitant Bills Still Due During Postal Strike

November 21, 2024 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Millions of Canadians breathed a sigh of relief this week after they found out their devilishly-high phone bills would still arrive at their doorsteps like usual. “Don’t you worry your pretty little hearts […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Can Finally Start Her Christmas Shopping Now That It’s Snowed

November 20, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB This is the latest start to Christmas shopping ever for area woman Jessica Fehr. But there was just enough snow this week that Fehr was able to commence the journey. “Dietja,” said Fehr. […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Mennonite’ and 7 Other Terms You Didn’t Know were Slurs

November 19, 2024 Andrew

I’m not sure why it took the outside world so long to figure this out, but the word Mennonite is actually a highly offensive slur and should never be used. After all, like Anabaptist, the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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