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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout

May 19, 2026 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Landmark woman Mrs. Plett (of course) was eager to try out the new roundabout just as construction is beginning and has already gotten herself trapped in a never ending loop. “This doesn’t bode […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup

May 18, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG METRO REGION, MB The Winnipeg Metro Region Nighthawks have become just the fourth team in MJHL history to win the national championship. “We’re so proud of our team the Nighthawks,” said Winnipeg mayor Scott […]

Unger Suspicion

Baal Really Excited for New Statue in His Honour

May 17, 2026 Andrew

MIAMI, FL The ancient Canaanite deity Baal is super excited to have a statue in his honour placed just outside the Trump golf course in Florida. “I haven’t been honoured in such a public fashion […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman to Dust Entire Province of Manitoba

May 15, 2026 Andrew

CARMAN, MB Mrs. Loewen of Carman has been enlisted by Manitoba Premier Wab Kinew to dust the entire province this weekend. “That was quite the dust storm,” said Kinew. “But luckily we have women like […]

Unger Games

Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In his most emphatic statement to date, US President Donald Trump has told Iranian authorities to give up because he holds all the Dutch Blitz cards. “I’ve got all the cards. All the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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