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Unger Suspicion

Abbotsford Fans Get Shout Out on Title Track of New Taylor Swift Album

October 5, 2025 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC There was a rush to the local MCC this week to get used copies of the latest Taylor Swift album, after it was discovered that Abbotsford fans got a shout out on the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

October 4, 2025 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area woman Theresa Bueckert decided she’d change things up a little and add raisins to her bun dough this week. The results were, as expected, disastrous. “Oba, what was I thinking,” said Mrs. […]

Unger & Thirst

Niverville Residents Finally Free From Arduous Journey to Winnipeg McDonald’s

October 3, 2025 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB For more than a century, residents of the small Mennonite town of Niverville have been completely cut off from access to McDonald’s restaurants. “Oh, sure, some brave souls ventured out to Winnipeg once […]

Unger Conviction

Church to Remove Reclining Seats for Poorer Parishioners

October 1, 2025 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The WestEast Church in Calgary, Alberta has just announced it will be removing all reclining seats in the last 20 rows of the sanctuary. “That’s where all the latecomers and low tithers sit,” […]

Unger the Influence

Canada Post to Replace Air Mail with New Horse and Buggy Service

September 29, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Always wanting to improve services across the country, Canada Post announced this week it would be hiring Amish and Old Order Mennonites to deliver the mail from now on. “It’s just one more […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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