The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Discards Hymnals Because No One Can Read Music Anymore

September 15, 2019 Andrew

NEWTON, KS The Second Mennonite Church of Newton, Kansas has decided to ditch their hymnals after it was discovered that not a single person in the congregation could read sheet music anymore. “Oh, sure, Mrs. […]

The Daily Bonnet

10 Completely True No Bullshit Facts and Figures for Your ‘Mennonite Heritage Week’ Article

September 14, 2019 Andrew

Mennonite Heritage Week is upon us. In fact, it’s almost over. But no doubt there will be a few Englisher media publications that will try to write an article or two about us Mennos. And […]

Unger & Thirst

Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Rogers Golden Syrup Shortage

September 13, 2019 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Thousands of Mennonites have been placed in Intensive Care units this summer after a shortage of Rogers Golden Syrup has left them without the necessary sustenance for life. “My Henry’s a fighter, but […]

Unger & Thirst

Mrs. Kehler Tries to Pass Off Store Bought Tomatoes as Garden Tomatoes

September 12, 2019 Andrew

GRETNA, MB Absolutely no one was believing Mrs. Kehler after she tried to sneak in a few store bought tomatoes onto the platter at faspa this week. “She even had the nerve to slice them […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Confesses to Voting NDP

September 10, 2019 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Local man and former church deacon Mr. Rempel was forced to go up in front of his congregation this week and apologize after it was discovered he had voted NDP in two of […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 419 420 421 … 708 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Lost & Found Items Discovered in 50 Year Old Time Capsule
    June 4, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Tries Unsuccessfully to Get a Buzz from Ginger Ale
    November 9, 2024
  • Manitoba Man Missing Wide Range of Body Parts After Spending Frigid Winter Night Staring at the Moon
    January 20, 2019
  • Zwieback Added to Periodic Table of Elements
    November 4, 2018
  • Englisher So Hairy He’s Mistaken for a Mennonite
    April 17, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved