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Unger Suspicion

U.S. Capitol to Be Replaced with One Massive Banana Republic

January 7, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Just hours after an embarrassing security breach at the United States Capitol building, government officials announced the commencement of major renovations to turn the place into a “totally epic” Banana Republic outlet store. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite MLAs Concerned “Cabinet Shuffle” Might Be Some Kind of Dance

January 6, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There was great concern among the Mennonite members of caucus after Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister announced a “cabinet shuffle” this afternoon. “We’re Mennonites. I’m not so sure we should be doing this,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma’s Vintage CorningWare Worth Millions and Millions of Dollars

January 4, 2021 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A set of casserole dishes that Mrs. Brubaker, 76, got as a wedding gift in 1964 has sold for a record $8.5 million dollars at a local thrift store this week. “I think […]

Unger Suspicion

Kenney Commands All MLAs to Vacation in La Crete from Now On

January 3, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Alberta Premier Jason Kenny has gotten into some hot water as of late for allowing eight of his most precious MLAs to travel during the holidays despite public health orders not to do […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Leftover Rice Pudding: A Daily Bonnet Recipe

January 2, 2021 Andrew

Today we’re bringing you part two in our very sporadic Daily Bonnet recipe series. Previously we brought you a classic: raw farmer sausage and vinegar. If you managed to master that complex recipe, here’s another […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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