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The Daily Bonnet

Kitchener Man Finally Meets His Waterloo

May 5, 2021 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Mr. Eby, 79, has been looking all over the Tri-City area for a suitable life partner after his wife Agnes died in 2008 and it seems that the Kitchener area man has finally […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Authors Eager to Get their Books Banned by Local Christian Bookstore

May 4, 2021 Andrew

NAJUNGES, MB With no chance to do book signings and public readings, it hasn’t been an easy year for authors trying to promote their new books. However, there’s a glimmer of hope in the air […]

Unger Suspicion

Government Now Requiring Masks to Fully Cover Douchey Neck Tattoos

May 3, 2021 Andrew

THUNDER BAY, ON After nationwide protests saw a “disturbing” presence of neck tattoos, bleach-blonde hair, and mirrored sunglasses, the Government of Canada issued a new health advisory requiring “all douchey neck tattoos” to be fully […]

Unger Suspicion

Millions Flee “Communist” Canada for a Better Life in Russia

May 2, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Millions of angry Trudeau-hating mask-hating Canadians have left the country en masse and are heading for a new glorious life in post-Soviet Russia. “Ever since Canada became a Communist country a few months […]

Unger Suspicion

Young People Wonder Just What Kind of World They’re Leaving for Willie Nelson and Keith Richards

May 1, 2021 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX As environmental destruction seems to be increasing every day, young people across America are concerned about what kind of a world they’re going to leave for Willie Nelson and Keith Richards. “When you […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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