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Unger the Influence

Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz

March 17, 2026 Andrew

OMAN Oil tankers may once again have free passageway through the Strait of Hormuz after the United Nations has brought in world’s top experts on draining swamps – the Mennonites. “They did it in Friesland, […]

Unger Suspicion

Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck to Take on Timothee Chalamet in High Stakes Prize Fight

March 16, 2026 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA After actor Timothee Chalamet stirred up controversy across the arts community this week for his dismissive comments about ballet and opera, boxing promoters have offered a $50 million prize to see Chalamet enter […]

Unger Suspicion

Top 10 Mennonite Movies of the Year

March 14, 2026 Andrew

Oba, it’s that time of year again, the Onkel Oscar awards yet. This year there were many Mannanite movies. Good thing we can stream them so no one can spot us in line at the […]

Unger Suspicion

Subway Opens in La Broquerie

March 12, 2026 Andrew

LA BROQUERIE, MB The small town of La Broquerie, Manitoba has just become home to the tiniest subway in the world. “You get on at the HyLife Centre and it takes you all the way […]

Unger Games

Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire

March 11, 2026 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB Days after arriving in Manitoba to film his latest movie, Taylor Swift’s inlaw Jason Kelce has decided to retire to a simpler life on the farm. “I realized that Hollywood is not for […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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