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The Daily Bonnet

David Bergen Discovers Long Lost Twin Brother Maurice Mierau

September 22, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The crowd at the McNally Robinson atrium last night were left in a state of confusion after two men appeared on stage, each bearing an uncanny resemblance to author David Bergen.  “Apparently one […]

Daily Bonnet

The Roman Empire: Why Mennonites Just Can’t Stop Thinking About It

September 20, 2023 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK According to a viral trend on TikTok, Mennonites think about the Roman Empire three or four times a week, more often than food, sex, or even church. “It’s shocking. I had no idea,” […]

Unger Games

NFL Announces New Gruelling 162-Game Schedule

September 19, 2023 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY In an effort to increase revenues and compete with baseball, starting next season the National Football League will be expanding it’s season to a full 162 games. “I’m not sure how we […]

Unger the Influence

Manitoba Plans to Have 2 Million Friesens By the Year 2030

September 18, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Conservative leader Heather Stefanson has laid out her aggressive plan to increase Manitoba’s population to 2 million people by the year 2030 using the province’s most efficient reproduction machine: Friesens. “Really, I’m just […]

Unger & Thirst

Man Who Ate All 183 ‘Burger Week’ Burgers Reveals His Favourite

September 17, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After trying all 183 ‘Le Burger Week’ burgers in Winnipeg, plus another 15 or so out in Steinbach this week, area man Darren Sawatzky has revealed his very favourite. “I didn’t want to […]

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