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The Daily Bonnet

MrBeast Offers Contestants $606,000 to Live Like a Mennonite for One Week

June 27, 2023 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH In his most outrageous stunt yet, YouTuber MrBeast offered contestants more than $600,000 to whoever could live an authentic Mennonite life for a whole week. “We had applicants from all over and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Diapers Hold Up Well for Area Woman at Taylor Swift Concert

June 26, 2023 Andrew

MINNEAPOLIS, MN Area woman Sandy Penner says her diapers made it through the entire 3 hour Taylor Swift concert this weekend in Minneapolis. “I actually put them on in Winnipeg when we started the road […]

Unger Suspicion

What a $5 Million House Looks Like in Toronto

June 25, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON With interest rates rising and the housing market starting to cool, realtors are now calling it a buyer’s market. Nowhere is this more evident than in Toronto where a mere $5 million will […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Rejoice as NHL Finally Bans Military Appreciation Jerseys

June 24, 2023 Andrew

GERMANTOWN, PA “I used to be a big NHL fan until they were putting all this military stuff in my face,” says Mr. Shenk of Germantown. “If you’re into that, fine, but I don’t need […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Flock to Nickelback Concert to Collect their 5 Cents

June 23, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB When word got out that Nickelback was in town, thousands of Mennonites flocked to the arena in Winnipeg this week to collect their refund. “I heard this is the place to get my […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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