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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Seeks Wife to Stare at While She Does the Yardwork

November 14, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Matthew Klippenstein, 37, has just posted an ad in the local paper looking for a sturdy young woman who hasn’t dyed her hair, pierced her ears, or grown unaccustomed to a […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Scolds Sky for Wearing Too Much Makeup

November 13, 2025 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Area pastor Ron Hildebrandt is preparing a scathing sermon for this Sunday after he witnessed an extremely immodest display of makeup on the night sky this week. “Jauma, it looks like a […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Really Hoping to Die Before He’s Finished Paying Off That 50-Year Mortgage

November 11, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Area man Brad Wiebe, 31, has an amazing new plan to finally be rid of his 50-year mortgage – waiting patiently to die. “That’s the dream, right. You always want to see your […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Suspected of Dancing After Being Scheduled for Hip Replacement

November 10, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Timothy Berg, 70, has been called before the elder board to “explain his actions” after word got out that he’s just been put on the waiting list for a hip replacement. […]

Unger Games

20-Knipser Pileup Just Outside Blumenort

November 9, 2025 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Bad weather this weekend led to a massive pileup of knipsers in the Blumenort church basement multi-purpose room. “First there were just one or two knipsers in the 15-point zone, but it didn’t […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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