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The Daily Bonnet

Infant Loses Mennonite Status After Being Born at St. Boniface Instead of Concordia

August 4, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Ungers who live just south of the city could not make it to Concordia on time and had to settle for having their child born at St. Boniface. “Well, I guess I’m […]

Unger Games

Olympic Village Modelled After Mennonite Heritage Village, Athletes to Sleep in Sod Huts

August 3, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE The Paris Olympics just-so-happens to coincide with Pioneer Days at the Mennonite Heritage Village in Steinbach and, so, to give Olympians that authentic Mennonite experience, all athletes are expected to sleep in a […]

Unger & Thirst

Liquor Stores Flooded with Mennonites Pretending Not to Buy Beer for the Lake this Weekend

August 2, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB There were long lineups at liquor stores across the province this afternoon as Mennonites definitely did not stock up on their beer supply for the weekend. “Just here to pick up a bag […]

Unger & Thirst

‘Summer McIntosh Borscht’: Mennonites Rename Soup in Honour of Swimmer

August 1, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE With two golds and a silver so far at the 2024 games, Summer McIntosh has captured the hearts of the nation, including the Canadian Mennonite population who have renamed a popular borscht after […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Man Medals in Synchronized Baptisms

July 31, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE It was a historic moment for the Canadian Olympic team this week as Rylan Wiens and diving partner Nathan Zsombor-Murray won a bronze medal. The moment did not go unnoticed by the folks […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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