The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Staunch Leftist Destroys Capitalism Aboard $60 Million Private Jet

December 21, 2025 Andrew

BOSTON, MA Renowned anarcho-syndicalist and fierce critic of American foreign policy, professor Noam Chomsky has disclosed his newest and most effective strategy to destroy capitalism–being whisked away in a private jet by Jeffrey Epstein. “See, […]

Unger Conviction

Kirk Cameron Reaffirms Belief in ‘Eternal Conscious Torment’ After Sitting Through One of His Own Movies

December 11, 2025 Andrew

NASHVILLE, TN Former 1980s sitcom star-turned-Christian apologist Kirk Cameron made headlines this week after questioning whether Hell is eternal. “But then I watched one of my own movies,” said Cameron, “and let me tell you, […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Shoppers Concerned as Fargo Reinstates Wood Chipper Executions

December 5, 2025 Andrew

FARGO, ND North Dakota’s attempt to lure crossborder Christmas shoppers has met with a hiccup this week after the local Chamber of Commerce announced they’d be bringing back the wood chipper. “Yeah, I think I’ll […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Demand Release of the Epsteinbach Files

November 27, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After many years of uncertainty and protest, the Epsteinbach files will finally be released this spring. “Oba, that Elder Thiessen is delaying things,” said Epsteinbach enthusiast Laura Koop. “I’m like, if he has […]

Unger Suspicion

Lack of Snow Deludes Winnipeg Man Into Thinking He Doesn’t Need a Parka

November 26, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It’s the end of November, so you know what that means – parka season. Well not so for area man Collin Rogalsky. “I’m waiting for it to snow,” said Rogalsky. “I can’t feel […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 171 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Paper Straw Totally Disintegrates Before Mennonite Man Gets to the Bottom of His Papsi
    August 24, 2022
  • Mennonites Interrupt New ‘Star Wars’ Film with Impromptu Hymn Sing
    December 30, 2019
  • “When Will I Get the Vaccine?” A Calculator for Mennonites
    December 27, 2020
  • 5 Mennonite Swear Words that Make No Sense
    February 19, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Blows Entire Paycheque at Cabela’s
    December 9, 2016

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved