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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Southern Manitoba Transitions from Agricultural-Based Economy to Wedding Venue-Based Economy

July 25, 2026 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Agriculture has been the backbone of the economy in southern Manitoba for well over a century. Over the past couple years, however, it has been radically transformed to a wedding venue-based economy, as […]

Unger Suspicion

Massive Algae Bloom Discovered Beneath Gordie Howe Bridge

July 22, 2026 Andrew

WINDSOR-DETROIT Moments after the US struck a deal to take over the Gordie Howe Bridge, a massive algae bloom was discovered in the Detroit River. “Someone cut it, cut it with a boxcutter or something,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Christopher Nolan Casts Pacifist Mennonite Farmer as Odysseus

July 20, 2026 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Director Christopher Nolan has stirred up controversy for his casting decisions yet again this week after replacing Matt Damon with 83-year-old retired Mennonite farmer/minister David Unrau. Unrau will star as legendary Greek hero […]

Unger Suspicion

US Strikes Iran With Their Most Powerful Weapon: Taco Bell Lettuce

July 19, 2026 Andrew

TEHRAN, IRAN The United States has hit Iran with the most dangerous weapon in its arsenal: Taco Bell lettuce. “If you don’t open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, we’re going to bombard you with Taco […]

Unger Suspicion

Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot

July 14, 2026 Andrew

BIRDS HILL PARK, MB Area man Wally Dueck, 51, made almost $200,000 selling highly-desirable spots in the shade at the Winnipeg Folk Festival this weekend. “Hey, you look a little sun-stroked there, now, don’t you?” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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