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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Demand Release of the Epsteinbach Files

November 27, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After many years of uncertainty and protest, the Epsteinbach files will finally be released this spring. “Oba, that Elder Thiessen is delaying things,” said Epsteinbach enthusiast Laura Koop. “I’m like, if he has […]

Unger Suspicion

Lack of Snow Deludes Winnipeg Man Into Thinking He Doesn’t Need a Parka

November 26, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It’s the end of November, so you know what that means – parka season. Well not so for area man Collin Rogalsky. “I’m waiting for it to snow,” said Rogalsky. “I can’t feel […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Opens Southern Manitoba’s Largest Aura Farm

November 22, 2025 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Area farmer Keith Thiessen, 61, has just purchased more than a thousand acres of land near Morden, Manitoba, which he intends to seed with aura this spring. “Everyone else is doing corn or […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Couple Embark on Arduous High-Altitude Expedition to Second Balcony of Burton Cummings Theatre

November 20, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area couple Jeff and Karen Hildebrandt had been training for weeks to make the trek to the upper reaches of the Burton Cummings Theatre. “Ever since we bought those Lauryn Hill tickets, we […]

Unger Suspicion

Dating Couple to Spend Romantic Evening Basking in the Aroma of the Maple Leaf Plant

November 18, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Dating couple Amanda and Kevin of Landmark drove into the city this weekend to sit in their car with the windows rolled down on Lagimodiere. “I knew this was a great first date […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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