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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

How to Slide into a Mennonite Woman’s DMs

August 7, 2025 Andrew

Long gone are the days when a couple might meet at a church faspa or Plett gathering. Instead, the only way to strike up a conversation with a prospective partner these days is to slide […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Author Comes Home with Gold Medal in Annual Navel Gazing Competition

August 6, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local author Joseph Bergmann, 78, has come home with the top prize at the annual Navel Gazing Olympics this week. Bergmann faced stiff competition from a wide range of authors, historians, and coffee […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Has “Great Jeans” Says American Eagle

August 4, 2025 Andrew

KORN, OK Area farmer Sid Sawatzky has appeared in a really provocative ad for American Eagle this well. The ad features Sawatzky knacking zoat while sitting in a lawn chair with the barn door up. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Sydney Sweeney Spotted on Kansas Farm in Full Mennonite Attire

July 30, 2025 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Days after launching a controversial new ad campaign for American Eagle, actress Sydney Sweeney has decided to retire to a simpler life on the farm. “At least no one will accuse me of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Pastors Make Statement With ‘Pay Us What You Owe Us’ T-Shirts

July 25, 2025 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Fed up with meagre salaries that barely pay the rent, Mennonite pastors across the nation have been sporting snazzy new T-shirts as a form of protest. “It’s bad enough he’s wearing such casual […]

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