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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Mennonites Unimpressed with Obvious Attempt to Buy Vogts

December 6, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON With money and tax breaks flowing out of Ottawa like a von Riesen out of 16th-century Friesland, several Mennonites are wondering whether this whole thing might just be a feeble attempt to buy […]

Unger the Influence

“Nah, we’re good”: Winnipeg Excluded from Plan to Make Canada the 51st US State

December 4, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A committee of 12 American delegates have arrived in Canada this week in hopes of adding a significant amount of territory to the American empire. “Everything was going okay until we arrived in […]

Unger the Influence

Joe Pardons Hunter Just in Time for “Giving Tuesday”

December 3, 2024 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Giving Tuesday is an annual day of generosity, drawing attention and support for worthy causes. In honour of Giving Tuesday this year, outgoing President Joe decided to give the most generous gift he […]

Unger the Influence

A Full List of Items that will be GST-free for Mennonites Over the Holidays

November 22, 2024 Andrew

Earlier this week, the federal government announced a GST break for several important items over the holiday. The Unger Review has compiled a list of the essential items that Mennonites will be able to purchase […]

Unger the Influence

American Kids Get Day Off School Tomorrow in Order to Pack Up and Move to Canada

November 5, 2024 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA With the fate of the nation hanging in the balance this evening, many American schools are giving the kids a day off school tomorrow. “You know, to pack,” said Principal Rachel Schmidt of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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