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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Left-leaning Voters Proudly Unite Around Right Wing Candidate

April 22, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After decades of division, it seems that someone has finally found a way to unite the left-leaning vote in Canada – a Goldman Sachs banker vowing to move the Liberal Party more to […]

Unger the Influence

Excluded from Debate, Green Party Told to Fight Amongst Themselves Like Mennonites

April 19, 2025 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC After failing to meet the criteria necessary to participate in the federal leaders debate, the Green Party of Canada has been told to told to fight amongst themselves, instead, “just like the Mennonites.” […]

Unger the Influence

Canadians Excited to Vote in Upcoming False Dichotomy

April 18, 2025 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Voters across the country are gearing up for what just may be the most exciting and important False Dichotomy we’ve had in many decades. “It was really hard to decide who to vote […]

Unger the Influence

Doug Ford Accidentally Shuts Off Power to the Amish

April 16, 2025 Andrew

ST. JACOB’S, ON Facing uncertain economic times and threats from the US, Ontario Premier Doug Ford, in a show of strength and solidarity, shut off power to a whole bunch of people who weren’t actually […]

Unger the Influence

Mark Carney Drops Out of All-Important Plautdietsch Leadership Debate

April 12, 2025 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Liberal leader Mark Carney has significantly hurt his chances in La Crete, Winkler, Aylmer this week after dropping out of the Plautdietsch leadership debate. “Meanwhile, I’ve been brushing up on my Plautdietch […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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