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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Canada Introduces New Food Allergy Warning Label

March 9, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Just moments after ascending to the throne, new Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney announced an important new set of warning labels to be displayed on all food products in the country. “We want […]

Unger the Influence

Uncle Disappointed that His Incessant Political Posts Go Totally Unappreciated

February 22, 2025 Andrew

MT. REINTHAL, TX Uncle Dave has been posting 7 to 10 political memes every day now for the past 10 years or so and can’t for the life of him figure out why no one […]

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Feds Announce New High-Speed Rail Line Between Morden and Winkler

February 19, 2025 Andrew

MORDEN-WINKLER, MB Days before the upcoming election, the federal government has committed upwards of $80 billion to build a high-speed rail line in the five mile stretch between Morden and Winkler. “There will be stops […]

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Elon Musk Accidentally Fires Himself

February 18, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC President Musk has been so busy haphazardly cutting government workers that he inadvertently fired himself this afternoon. “And the problem is it all happened so fast that now I can’t even hire myself […]

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Master Negotiator Donald Trump to Give Putin Whatever the Hell He Wants

February 13, 2025 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA US President Donald Trump is known for his incredible negotiating prowess, which has been on full display this week with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. “No one could have done it but me. No […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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