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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

American Kids Get Day Off School Tomorrow in Order to Pack Up and Move to Canada

November 5, 2024 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA With the fate of the nation hanging in the balance this evening, many American schools are giving the kids a day off school tomorrow. “You know, to pack,” said Principal Rachel Schmidt of […]

Unger the Influence

Unger Review Loses 200,000 Subscribers After Refusing to Endorse a Presidential Candidate

October 29, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mennonite satire website The Unger Review lost three board members, two editors, and more than 200,000 subscribers this week after Andrew Unger was like, “meh, nah,” and refused to endorse a candidate in […]

Unger the Influence

Mixup Has Trudeau “Re-signing” Instead of Resigning

October 23, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After weeks of pressure, a group of rogue MPs have convinced Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to re-sign with the Liberal team. “Hey, you know, I was thinking of quitting, but with all this […]

Unger the Influence

British Columbia Still Counting their Vogts

October 21, 2024 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC Elections BC released an initial Vogt count this weekend, but the full results will not be known until all the Vogts are counted. “I think there’s a whole bunch of Vogts in Abbotsford […]

Unger the Influence

“I meant hot dogs and catsup,” claims candidate

September 13, 2024 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA A US Presidential candidate is now claiming he was talking about “hot dogs and catsup” and that the media is just twisting his words to make him look bad. “I like a good […]

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