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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

What the Heck is a “Mennonite Raised Chicken”?

September 30, 2017 Andrew

A Daily Bonnet reader was gracious enough to share this photograph taken at her local market. Apparently, there’s something so special about “Mennonite raised chicken” that people are willing to pay a premium for it. […]

Unger & Thirst

Tim Hortons Introduces Full Line of Yerba Products

September 22, 2017 Andrew

GRETNA, MB The popular Tim Hortons shop in Gretna, Manitoba is set to become the first Tims in the region to replace their entire line of beverages with Paraguayan yerba mate. Gretna Tims, which just […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Subsists Entirely on Free Hot Dogs

September 18, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For more than thirty years, local man Mr. F. Wiens has been a fixture at free hot dog giveaways across the Hanover area. From grand openings to open houses and church picnics to […]

Unger & Thirst

A Calorie Guide to Mennonite Cooking

September 16, 2017 Andrew

In the days before we became lazy and assimilated, Mennonites wouldn’t concern themselves with such things. We worked hard all day on the farm, where we could easily sweat out even the very fattiest of […]

Unger & Thirst

World’s Longest Farmer Sausage Stretches from Blumenort to Steinbach

September 10, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Measuring 9.8 kilometres and weighing in at more than 17 tonnes, the neighbouring towns of Blumenort and Steinbach have just entered the Guinness Book of Records with the world’s longest farmer sausage. The […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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