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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Mafia to Branch into Legal Weed

July 23, 2017 Andrew

CHIHUAHUA, MEXICO With legalization of marijuana on the near horizon in Canada, the Mennonite mafia has decided to use their already well-established network of dealers to hawk legal weed. “Oba, we yust couldn’t pass app […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Discovers $1,000,000 in Deceased Grandma’s Margarine Containers

July 8, 2017 Andrew

WALDHEIM, SK Area woman Rebecca Rempel was helping to clean up her recently deceased grandmother’s house, when she made a discovery that changed the course of her life forever. On the upper floor of Grandma Rempel’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Expands Their Palate at Mall Food Court

July 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local couple Arthur and Samantha Hiebert of North Kildonan are excited about the new culinary discoveries they’ve made at the Kildonan Place Shopping Centre food court. “I’ve never seen such a world of […]

Unger & Thirst

Uncle Undoes Pants Button to Make Room for More Sausage

July 2, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB At about 2:00 pm this Sunday, the eating time at the Vogt family picnic at AD Penner Park was thought to be over. The kids had moved on to play on the zip-line, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Refuses to Pay for Superstore Bags

June 29, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local woman Doris Goosen had her arms full yet again on Thursday evening after she refused to pay the 5 cents for the Superstore plastic bags. “I don’t care if it take me […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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