TORONTO, ON LCBO stores across Ontario were flooded with American booze this afternoon, with a shocking amount of high end bourbon. Apparently, Canadians insisted that if they were going to put American booze back on […]
OTTAWA, ON With a potential trade deal in the works, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney is asking Canadian to start drinking shitty inferior American beer once again. “As a gesture of good will to our […]
SASKATOON, SK Thousands of Mennonites are barely surviving this summer after a shortage of cottage cheese has left them without the necessary sustenance for life. “My Henry’s a fighter, but I’m just not sure how […]
ALTONA, MB Mrs. Toews was so thoroughly embarrassed with her failure to add star anise to her chicken soup at the soup and pie fundraiser this past week that she has vowed never to make […]
MITCHELL, MB Local grandma Mrs. Agnes Wiebe, 72, unleashed the harshest punishment known to Mennonites this week by making her misbehaving grandkids chew a piece of soap-flavoured Thrills gum for a full fifteen minutes. “I […]
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