The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Thieves Steal ‘Mennonite Crown Jewels’ in Brazen Daytime Heist

October 20, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB   Winkler, Manitoba, often called the Paris of the Pembina Valley, was the victim of a brazen daytime heist this week after balaclava-donning thieves on dirt bikes took off with Mrs. Reimer’s prized roll […]

Unger & Thirst

Silly Americans Don’t Even Realize it’s Thanksgiving

October 12, 2025 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN In a shocking turn of events, more than 300 million Americans went completely without Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. “There wasn’t even any pumpkin pie,” said Mrs. Eby of Kitchener, Ontario, who has been […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Wins Noble Peas Prize

October 10, 2025 Andrew

OSLO, NORWAY Mr. Abe Klassen of Rosthern has just been awarded the top prize for the most delicious, most noble peas in the world. “Just look at those green plump peas, slathered in butter,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

October 4, 2025 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area woman Theresa Bueckert decided she’d change things up a little and add raisins to her bun dough this week. The results were, as expected, disastrous. “Oba, what was I thinking,” said Mrs. […]

Unger & Thirst

Niverville Residents Finally Free From Arduous Journey to Winnipeg McDonald’s

October 3, 2025 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB For more than a century, residents of the small Mennonite town of Niverville have been completely cut off from access to McDonald’s restaurants. “Oh, sure, some brave souls ventured out to Winnipeg once […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 135 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Spotify Removes Every Neil Young Album Except “Everybody’s Rockin'”
    February 7, 2022
  • 5 Mennonite Surnames that Sound Naughty But Aren’t
    March 5, 2023
  • Unmarried Couple Caught Holding Hymnal Together
    May 15, 2018
  • Gen Xer Super Proud of Himself After Managing to Stand for Entire Concert
    February 3, 2024
  • How Many of These Typical Mennonite Things Have You Done?
    January 31, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved