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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Choir Director Admits He Really Doesn’t Know What the Heck He’s Doing with His Arms

March 18, 2018 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mr. Peter Friesen, choir director at Third Mennonite Church in Saskatoon, admitted in a candid interview this past week that he’s basically just standing up there and flailing his arms about randomly. “It’s […]

Unger Conviction

Google Maps Error Leads Rosenort Couple to Southland Mall in Winkler

March 15, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Wiebe family of Rosenort were excited to take the trip out to Steinbach to hear Brother Yun speak at a local church, but after entering the location into Google Maps, the family […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Accidentally Hires Seminary Graduate

February 11, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB “It seems we’ve been duped,” said Altona MEMBCM board chair John B. Friesen. “We never would have hired Pastor Jim had we known he was actually a highly-trained and educated individual.” Friesen is […]

Unger Conviction

8% Tithe Now Acceptable Due to Economic Downturn

February 6, 2018 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN After a slumping economy and soaring unemployment rate, the Society for the Proliferation of Mennonite Churches has determined that “an 8% tithe will be acceptable for the foreseeable future.” The change was […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Confesses to Photoshopping Church Directory Photos

February 1, 2018 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Mrs. Penner, 83, of Goessel has been responsible for compiling the EMB church directory for more than thirty years and, so far, everyone had been quite satisfied with her work. A little too […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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