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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Local Man Lives Unnoticed in Megachurch Restroom for 10 Years

July 12, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Custodial staff at Winnipeg megachurch, Waters of Blessing, were shocked to find a man in a state of undress curled up in the corner of the men’s room on Tuesday night. “I found […]

Unger Conviction

Revolutionary New Mennonite Church Adds an Extra Two Ounces to Baptismal Water

July 9, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A new Mennonite church — in reality a breakaway from the old one — plans to revolutionize the way Mennonites do baptism by pouring an extra two ounces of water during the baptism. “Our […]

Unger Conviction

Conservative and Liberal Mennonite Debate Church Music

July 6, 2018 Andrew

Let’s face it. Religious and political discourse is in serious decline these days. People prefer sound bites and memes to intelligent well-argued dialogue. In an effort to elevate the conversation, the Daily Bonnet has arranged […]

Unger Conviction

Naive Young Man Still Clinging to Hope of Meeting Eligible Young Woman in Church

July 3, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local bachelor Timothy Wiebe, 23, of Altona is sticking to his guns and showing up to church every Sunday hoping and praying that a young woman his age will miraculously appear. Wiebe has […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Fakes Injury to Avoid Church this Morning

July 1, 2018 Andrew

MENNO COLONY, PARAGUAY Guillermo Toews, 26, of Menno Colony went down with an injury early this morning, but slo-motion replay shows he’s “clearly just faking it to avoid going to church.” “We’ve seen this kind […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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