The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Why All Mennonite Families Hold Hands While Praying

June 10, 2018 Andrew

Catholics make the sign of the cross, Baptists kneel by their bedsides, and Pentecostals speak in tongues. But when it comes to prayer, Mennonites distinguish themselves by grasping firmly to the sweaty hand of the […]

Unger Conviction

Local Church Adds Cake-Baking to List of Holy Sacraments

June 6, 2018 Andrew

DENVER, CO A small church just outside of Denver, Colorado has voted overwhelmingly to add cake-baking to its list of holy sacraments. Starting this July, church members will be required to participate in baptism, communion, […]

Unger Conviction

Entire Mennonite Town Becomes One Giant Escape Room

May 22, 2018 Andrew

NEUSCHANZENSCHULTZ, MB The small Mennonite village of Neuschanzenschultz, Manitoba has inadvertently become the world’s largest escape room after years of ostracizing and shunning any resident who steps out of line or thinks for themselves. “They […]

Unger Conviction

Unmarried Couple Caught Holding Hymnal Together

May 15, 2018 Andrew

FRESNO, CA An unmarried couple at South Fresno Mennonite are facing intense scrutiny after they were caught grasping opposite corners of the same hymnal during a rousing rendition of ‘Blessed Assurance’ this past Sunday. The […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Asks for Standing Desk, Told He Already Has One

April 30, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Fresh out of seminary, Pastor Dave was really excited about his new Associate Pastor position at East Mennonite until he discovered first hand just how frugal the church board can be. Dave was […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 64 65 66 … 92 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Monsanto Buys Naming Rights to Mennonite Church
    July 23, 2025
  • Municipality Approves the Sale of Hash Brownies at Church Bake Sales
    November 9, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Takes Extra Shot of Ozempic Before Lunch at Oma’s
    July 23, 2024
  • Area Man Spends 5 Hours Trying to Find the End of a Roll of Tape
    September 5, 2023
  • How to Tell if a Mennonite is Flirting With You
    April 2, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved