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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Excited to Take Flight in Neighbour’s Flying Car

March 28, 2024 Andrew

ELKHART, IN The whole neighbourhood was abuzz this week as Mr. Funk of Elkhart unveiled his new license plate, which clearly indicated he had converted his sedan into a flying car. Naturally, next door neighbour […]

Unger Conviction

Christian Church Continues Longstanding Christian Tradition of Doing the Opposite of Everything Christ Ever Taught

March 26, 2024 Andrew

DALLAS, TX The ministerial team at Waters of Blessing church in Dallas, Texas have decided it was time to clarify their message to the world. In a stirring sermon this Sunday, the church outlined their […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Hired for Wife’s Ability to Play the Piano

February 19, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK The local church has just hired a new pianist with the added bonus that her husband is willing to be the pastor on Sundays. “You know, when we were looking for a […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Introduces New See-Through Coffee

February 18, 2024 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB In an effort to increase “transparency” within the church community, the North Rosenort Mennonite Church will now be serving its innovative new see-through coffee. “Jauma, I can see all the way to the […]

Unger Conviction

Retailers Quick to Cash In as Foot Washing Becomes Latest Gen Z Trend

February 17, 2024 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS It’s the wave that’s sweeping the nation: foot-washing. Millennials, Gen Zers – you name it, they’re doing it. After a popular Super Bowl commercial last week, retailers were quick to capitalize on the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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