TORONTO, ON
After an apparent gaff in running an ad that accurately represented Ronald Reagan’s views on tariffs, Ontario Premier Doug Ford is now asking the Blue Jays to “let them have this one,” in an effort to repair Canada-US relations.
“You’ve got to throw a dog a bone sometimes,” said Ford. “This is not our year.”
Such transparent efforts to appease the White House appear to have been effective in the past and Ford believes that a World Series victory for Toronto would do irreparable damage.
“It’s only baseball,” said Ford. “After all, I’m sure the Leafs will take home the Stanley Cup this year, amirite?”
In an effort to ensure a Dodgers victory, Doug Ford himself plans to start on the mound for the Blue Jays in game 2.
“And we’ve got Mike Harris at shortstop,” said Ford. “I might even ask Caroline Mulroney to DH.”
The news was met with great enthusiasm in the White House, as well as on the west coast, where Shohei Ohtani absolutely swears he’ll keep it a secret and that this information will not in any way, shape, or form make it into the hands of his interpreter.
(photo credit: Bruce Reeve/CC)
