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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Takes Extra Shot of Ozempic Before Lunch at Oma’s

July 23, 2024 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Area man Cameron Hiebert has been trying to inject his way into good health for quite some time, but that hasn’t stopped him from devouring a nice plate of vereniki and formavorscht when […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Couple Divorce After Conflict Over Air Conditioner Temperature

July 22, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Eight years of wedded bliss is all over for the Epps of North Kildonan this week, after an apparent marriage-ending fight over the AC temperature. “She wanted it at 23, while I prefer […]

Unger the Influence

Rolling Stones Announce New More Youthful Lead Singer Joe Biden

July 21, 2024 Andrew

LONDON, UK It didn’t take long for President Joe Biden to find a new job–lead singer of legendary rock band The Rolling Stones. “You can’t always get what you want and Mick was getting long […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Desperately Hoping He Can Make it to Deacons Corner

July 20, 2024 Andrew

DEACONS CORNER, MB Area man Steve Froese, 41, was at a Fringe Fest performance by The Naked Mennonite this afternoon, when he realized he didn’t have enough gas to make it all the way back […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Watches 72 Consecutive Hours of Hoof Trimming Videos

July 18, 2024 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB It all started with one click on the Hoof GP and three days later Martha Dueck of Riverton was still there. “I don’t know what it is but I can’t stop watching,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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