The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Leamington Man Arrested for Possession of Heinz Ketchup

May 9, 2017 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Days after a new law came into effect barring the use of Heinz Ketchup, the Leamington police have made their first arrest for possession of something other than French’s. “A middle-aged male was taken into […]

The Daily Bonnet

Afternoon Power Outage Results in Three Pregnancies

May 8, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB An hour-long power outage in Steinbach this afternoon left employees at the local church pew factory with a little too much time on their hands. The outage resulted in more than fifteen new […]

Unger Conviction

Grandma Loewen’s Vibrato Triggers Massive Earthquake

May 8, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC A massive 7.2 earthquake struck the Fraser Valley this past Sunday. Local seismologists have traced the source of the quake to Mrs. Martha Loewen’s uncontrollable vibrato singing at the local Mennonite church. “We […]

Unger Games

Oilers Blow 6 Goal Lead, Lose 8-7

May 7, 2017 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Up 7-1 after 2 periods the Edmonton Oilers did what everyone was expecting and blew their 6 goal lead to the Anaheim Ducks. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said longtime Oilers fan […]

Unger Suspicion

Anti-Vaxxer to Marry Flat-Earther

May 7, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK When committed anti-vaxxer Bertha Epp met flat-earther Harry Froese on an online message board last fall, it only took Bertha two hours of chatting to know Harry was the man for her. “We both […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 618 619 620 … 714 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • New Zealand Prime Minister Really Upset Over Canadian Olympic Drone Scandal
    July 26, 2024
  • Mennonite Woman Cleans House Just Before Cleaning Lady Arrives
    October 8, 2019
  • Philadelphia Flyers Shore Up Blue Line By Signing Patriarch Kirill of Moscow
    January 19, 2023
  • Rosenort Couple Faces Existential Crisis: Are We Jantsied or Ditsied?
    November 8, 2018
  • Steinbach Residents to Get Bolt Cutters in their Stockings this Christmas
    November 18, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved