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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Insists Server Who is Just Doing Her Job is Flirting With Him

October 18, 2017 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Billy Doerksen, a 52-year-old farmer and frequent customer at BJ’s Kafe in Leamington, mistook a friendly smile and warm welcome for flirtation this past Wednesday. “It was pretty damn awkward,” said 27-year-old server […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach the Most Profanity-Free City in North America

October 17, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For the third year in a row Steinbach has come out on tops of the annual profanity audit by the Canadian Society for Clean Language. Society President Richard Fuchs says the rate of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rules for Dating My Mennonite Daughter

October 16, 2017 Andrew

BY: MR. HAROLD DYCK Well, I see you’ve got eyes for my daughter Sarah. Mrs. Dyck says she saw you looking across into the women’s section last Sunday and she told me after church, “Harold, […]

Unger Suspicion

Credit Union Accidentally Gives Loan to Englishers

October 14, 2017 Andrew

NEUBERGFELD, MB Despite extensive checks and balances to prevent such a practice, CBC reports that a non-Mennonite couple was accidentally approved for a mortgage at Neubergfeld Credit Union this past week. “We’re looking into the […]

Quizzes

Can You Identify These Famous Mennonites?

October 12, 2017 Andrew

This Daily Bonnet quiz asks you to identify 15 famous Mennonites who aren’t your Grandma Penner. [wp_quiz id=”523″] (photo credits: 562Luca76, Lisa Gansky, Daniel Paquet, Xamian, Roland Zumbühl/ CC)    

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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