The Daily Bonnet
Romance Tips for Mennonites
Ah, Valentine’s Day. Both the coldest and warmest holiday of the year. Today, we hit the streets of Altona to find out what the locals were doing for Valentine’s Day and to see if they […]
Articles by Andrew
Unger Games
Canadian Olympians Forced to Pay Back Half Their Medals in Taxes
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA Always on the lookout for new sources of revenue, the Canadian government has announced it will be taxing Olympic medals at the top income tax bracket of 48.7 percent. The medals will […]
Unger Suspicion
An Exclusive Interview with the Notorious ‘Alberta Clipper’
TABER, AB After years of secrecy, the infamous ‘Alberta Clipper’ has agreed to this exclusive interview with the Daily Bonnet. We met Mr. Friesen in his home in Taber to ask him about why he […]
Unger Conviction
Mennonite Church Accidentally Hires Seminary Graduate
ALTONA, MB “It seems we’ve been duped,” said Altona MEMBCM board chair John B. Friesen. “We never would have hired Pastor Jim had we known he was actually a highly-trained and educated individual.” Friesen is […]
Unger Suspicion
Elon Musk Launches Buggy Full of Mennonite Elders Into Space
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL Pioneering SpaceX and Tesla founder Elon Musk launched a Mennonite buggy, complete with five grumpy members of the local church elder board, into outer space on Friday. The historic launch is the […]