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Articles by Andrew

Unger the Influence

Canadians Excited to Vote in Upcoming False Dichotomy

April 18, 2025 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Voters across the country are gearing up for what just may be the most exciting and important False Dichotomy we’ve had in many decades. “It was really hard to decide who to vote […]

The Daily Bonnet

Area Mall Fights Loitering by Blasting Mennonite Hymns

April 17, 2025 Andrew

GRETNA, MB Southern Manitoba’s most popular shopping centre in Gretna, Manitoba has gone to extreme lengths to get rid of the teens who’ve been loitering in the parking lot this spring. To address this problem, […]

Unger the Influence

Doug Ford Accidentally Shuts Off Power to the Amish

April 16, 2025 Andrew

ST. JACOB’S, ON Facing uncertain economic times and threats from the US, Ontario Premier Doug Ford, in a show of strength and solidarity, shut off power to a whole bunch of people who weren’t actually […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Avoids Sinning By Going to a Film Instead of a Movie

April 15, 2025 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Area woman Carolyn Enns, 71, was sick and tired of all the wrath and judgement she received for attending a movie on occasion that she decided it was time she attended a film […]

The Daily Bonnet

Jets Clinch First Place in General Conference

April 14, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB For the first time in team history, the Winnipeg Jets have clinched first place in the General Conference. “It’s a very exciting time to be alive,” said Dave of Winnipeg MC. “I never […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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