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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Canadian Mennonites Lineup to Get Their Hands on Legal Platz

October 17, 2018 Andrew

SOUTH BLUMENORT, MB Ten of thousands of Mennonites across Canada have been lining up outside platz shops today to get their hands on legal platz for the first time in nearly 100 years. “It’s a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Naps Right Through Faspa

October 16, 2018 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Local man, Lyle Braun, 37, was so tuckered out after a long week at work that he slept right through faspa on Sunday. By the time he woke up his wife Anne […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Has Suspenders Confiscated at Quebec Border

October 15, 2018 Andrew

GATINEAU, QC Johan Brubacher hitched up the wagon this week, eager to take his family to Montreal, a city renowned for Mennonite specialties like poutine and craft beer. However, as soon as the buggy crossed […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Family to Survive on Last Sunday’s Leftovers for the Next Two Years

October 14, 2018 Andrew

FORT VERMILLION, AB There was so much food leftover at the Reimer family potluck last Sunday that the entire clan had enough food to last for the next two years. “We were told to bring […]

Quizzes

Quiz: What do you know about American Mennonites?

October 12, 2018 Andrew

Canadians love to chat about how little Americans know about us. But, then again, how much do Canadians know about the US. Specifically, how much do Canadian Mennonites know about American Mennonites? Heck, how much […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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