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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends Entire Summer Sitting in Lawn Chair on Front Lawn Wearing Nothing but Gitch

July 14, 2018 Andrew

SCHANZENBERGENFELD, MB Peter Dueck, 72, of Schanzenbergenfeld has spent all summer, wearing nothing but a pair of white briefs, and sitting in his front lawn staring at his neighbours. In that time, Dueck has consumed […]

Unger Suspicion

Pair of Reimers Go Door-to-Door in Salt Lake City

July 13, 2018 Andrew

SALT LAKE CITY, UT A couple of Reimers from Friesenschanzenfeld have decided to leave the farm behind and go door-to-door in Salt Lake City this summer. “We’re hoping to recruit as many Mormons as possible,” […]

Unger Conviction

Local Man Lives Unnoticed in Megachurch Restroom for 10 Years

July 12, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Custodial staff at Winnipeg megachurch, Waters of Blessing, were shocked to find a man in a state of undress curled up in the corner of the men’s room on Tuesday night. “I found […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Woman Spontaneously Combusts After Venturing Outside the Perimeter

July 12, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Every Winnipegger’s biggest fear came true last night as one brave soul ventured outside the Perimeter and did not return. Set to become the first Winnipegger ever to leave the city limits to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Realtor Invites Nosy Mennonites to Wander Around the Friesen’s House

July 11, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Dozens of Mennonite couples showed up at the Friesen home this past Sunday between 2:00 and 4:00 pm even though they had absolutely no intention of buying the place. “We were just there […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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