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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

A List of Better Secular Alternatives to Wholesome Christian Rock Bands

June 27, 2018 Andrew

Growing up as a Mennonite kid, and one who attended a private Christian school in the 1990s, I’ve had more than my fair share of inferior Christian rock thrust upon me against my will. Back […]

The Daily Bonnet

We Need Your Help to Solve This Mennonite Mystery at the Museum (This is real)

June 26, 2018 Andrew

Just yesterday, Brenda Suderman, renowned Winnipeg writer and quilt expert, was in Halifax, Nova Scotia at the Canadian Museum of Immigration. Well, one exhibit asked visitors to reflect on their own family history and immigration […]

The Daily Bonnet

Now that Grandma’s Passed, the Hieberts Can Finally Stop Having So Many Family Gatherings

June 26, 2018 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Although nothing has been officially decided, it’s quite clear from the sense of relief that has swept over the Hiebert clan, that we won’t be having another Hiebert gathering anytime soon. Now that […]

Unger & Thirst

Area Man’s Fingers Permanently Stained By Ketchup Chips

June 25, 2018 Andrew

MISSISSAUGA, ON Local man Peter Lehman, 39, of Mississauga has been left permanently disfigured this week after eating ketchup chips. According to Lehman, after an hourlong session during which time he ate two bags of […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Wife Wears ‘I Really Don’t Care, Do You?’ Jacket to Church

June 24, 2018 Andrew

AKRON, PA Mrs. Melanie Troyer, 43, wife of Reverend Dilbert Troyer, showed up to church this morning sporting a “I Really Don’t Care, Do You?” jacket that she purchased online at Zara. The Troyers were […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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