GOSHEN, IN In a shocking turn of events, more than 300 million Americans went completely without Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. “There wasn’t even any pumpkin pie,” said Mrs. Eby of Kitchener, Ontario, who has been […]
EDMONTON, AB Just days after Connor McDavid closed a deal with the Oilers, local youth pastor Collin Martens inked a two-year $25,000 extension with WestEast Edmonton Mennonite Church. “We had to wait and see what […]
OSLO, NORWAY Mr. Abe Klassen of Rosthern has just been awarded the top prize for the most delicious, most noble peas in the world. “Just look at those green plump peas, slathered in butter,” said […]
MOOSOMIN, SK Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, […]
TORONTO, ON After the Blue Jays took a 2-game lead against the New York Yankees, the Americans are utilizing the only strategy left in their repertoire— annexation. “We call it the World Series, but it’s […]
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