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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite to Join ‘Golden Dome’ Program

May 21, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The White House’s new $175 billion ‘golden dome’ defence program seems bound for completion this week after the administration got the Mennonites on board. “Nah, junges, normally we only have the golden domes […]

Unger & Thirst

Bruce Springsteen’s Plumi Moos Deemed “A Little Dry”

May 20, 2025 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Atteendees at a Kansas Mennonite church potluck were disappointed this week after rock superstar Bruce Springsteen showed up with a plumi moos that was a “touch on the dry side.” “I get it. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Area Woman Accidentally Posts Something Positive and Uplifting on Social Media

May 19, 2025 Andrew

TABER, AB After months of non-stop angry political posts, Mrs. Goertzen of Taber accidentally shared an inspirational scripture verse on Facebook this morning. “Oba, how did Philippians 4:6-7 get in there!” yelled Mrs. Goertzen. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

5 Worst Mennonite Jokes of All Time

May 18, 2025 Andrew

So the other day I noticed that Meta AI was posing questions below my articles on Facebook –they’ve been doing it for a while now. Recently, they posed a question about Mennonite jokes. So I […]

Unger Suspicion

Steinbach Eyes $10 Billion Monorail

May 16, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Looking for a way to speed up transportation from the MCC store downtown to the Walmart out on the highway, Steinbach residents are now seriously considering a new citywide monorail system. “It’ll stop […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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