ALTONA, MB After five centuries of never once compromising their cherished Anabaptist values, Mennonites across Canada are forced to confront the most pressing ethical dilemma in their history – what to do in the face […]
WASHINGTON, DC A request from the Ministry of Truth in Washington has pressured Webster’s Dictionary to redefine “ceasefire” as “all out warfare.” “Too many people were under the false impression that ceasefire means you actually […]
AYLMER, ON Area man Johan Dyck ran out of space on his census form this week after being asked to list all 31 children. “I got Mary, Isaac, Peter, Susie, Abe, David, Heinrich, Anne, Ruth, […]
TORONTO, ON Fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs were all excited about their victory in the NHL draft lottery this afternoon until they discovered they’d actually be picking 67th due to tariffs. “Ah, shoot,” said […]
WASHINGTON, DC A man who routinely brags about the cognitive test he aced apparently cannot tell the difference between images of himself dressed as Jesus and a doctor. “It was a very hard test. No […]
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