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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Blessed with Pleasant Aroma of Manure Just in Time for Mother’s Day

May 11, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mothers across the City of Steinbach and the RM of Hanover are delighted to have their special day accompanied by the intense aroma of manure. “And a faint hint of feed mill to […]

Unger Suspicion

Team of Industrious Amish Hired to Fix McDonald’s Ice Cream Machine

May 10, 2025 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA After millions of complaints from customers, McDonald’s has finally found a solution to the broken ice cream machine problem that has plagued their restaurants across the country – hiring the Amish. “Actually, we’re […]

Unger Suspicion

Festival to Feature New Chilliwack Cover Band Called Abbotsford

May 9, 2025 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC They’re the hottest Chilliwack cover band on the circuit and they’re heading straight for the main stage at the Fraser Valley Mennonite Brethren Festival of Music and Arts this weekend in the Clearbrook […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Excited to Have a Brand New Pope to Disregard

May 8, 2025 Andrew

VATICAN CITY As the white smoke finally emerged from the Sistine Chapel, Mennonites across the globe waited with bated breath to find out just whose authority they would be rejecting for the next few years. […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonite Woman Mentors Mark Carney on How to Bite His Tongue

May 7, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Gearing up for his first international visit to Washington, DC, Prime Minister Mark Carney took an intensive three week crash course in tongue-biting from someone who is a world renowned expert in the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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