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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Plan to Lose Every Game Until Hellebuyck Comes Back

November 30, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Despite a slight hiccup in the plan last night, the Winnipeg Jets are hoping to get back on track and lose every game from now until whenever Connor Hellebuyck comes back. “I’m really […]

Unger Games

McGill Cuts Beloved Crokinole Team

November 28, 2025 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC McGill University has freed up more than $6 billion in budget space after cutting the beloved but expensive crokinole team. “Players kept flicking the pieces all over the place and losing them,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Demand Release of the Epsteinbach Files

November 27, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After many years of uncertainty and protest, the Epsteinbach files will finally be released this spring. “Oba, that Elder Thiessen is delaying things,” said Epsteinbach enthusiast Laura Koop. “I’m like, if he has […]

Unger Suspicion

Lack of Snow Deludes Winnipeg Man Into Thinking He Doesn’t Need a Parka

November 26, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It’s the end of November, so you know what that means – parka season. Well not so for area man Collin Rogalsky. “I’m waiting for it to snow,” said Rogalsky. “I can’t feel […]

Unger Games

Local Dad Gets Full Time Job Carting His Kids Around to Sports

November 25, 2025 Andrew

ST. EINBACH, SK Area man David Giesbrecht, 42, has just quit his job at the local window factory so he can dedicate himself to carting his kids around to various sports. “Looks like I’m a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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