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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Airline Strives to Make Travel as Uncomfortable as Humanly Possible

June 4, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB West Reserve Airlines has long been a leader in Canadian air travel, with their continual efforts to make air travel as uncomfortable and inconvenient as humanly possible. The airline announced this morning they […]

The Daily Bonnet

Committee Already Planning “Anabaptism 1000” Celebrations

June 3, 2025 Andrew

ADDIS ABABA, ETHIOPIA Moments after the 500th anniversary service ended, a committee of Mennonites from around the world had already gathered in Addis Ababa to start planning the Anabaptism 1000 celebrations. “I know this is […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor to Fight Epidemic of Mennonite Men Wearing Shorts in Church

June 1, 2025 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK After half the men in the congregation showed up in shorts this past Sunday, Pastor Carl is now enforcing the church’s long standing no shorts rule. “It’s been on the books for decades, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Shunned After Returning from Zurich with Swiss Army Knife

May 31, 2025 Andrew

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND Area man Dave Kehler immensely enjoyed his time at the Anabaptism 500 celebrations in Zurich this week, but the pleasant festivities contrasted with the rather unfriendly greeting he received on his arrival back […]

Unger & Thirst

Fisherman Hired to Extract Last Pickle from Jar

May 30, 2025 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area man Neil Reimer has been awakened from his meddaschlop this afternoon to attend to an emergency at the Klassen gathering. “Get here fast, Neil,” said Mrs. Klassen, “and bring your rod and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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