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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Oakland A’s to Play 2024 Season in Fresno Mennonite Church Parking Lot

April 9, 2024 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Several fans have already been setting up their lawn chairs at the Fresno Mennonite Church parking lot in anticipation of the 2024 Oakland Athletics season. “We’re hoping to get 50 or 60 people […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Confesses to Meeting His Wife at the Frantz Motor Inn

April 8, 2024 Andrew

LA BROQUERIE, MB Area man Christopher Unrau admitted in a candid interview this week that he met his wife Crystal at the bar on the edge of town back in 1987. “For years we kept […]

The Daily Bonnet

Experts Warn Mennonites Against Using Homemade Eclipse Glasses

April 7, 2024 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Not wanting to shell out the cash for real eclipse glasses, thousands of Mennonites in southern Ontario have taken to crafting protective eyewear of their own. Peter Wiens of Leamington, for example, says […]

The Daily Bonnet

Apple Calendar Forces Mennonite Woman to Celebrate Something Called ‘Tartan Day’

April 6, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Area woman Erin Loewen, 29, was intrigued this week as she noticed a black dot on today’s date in her iPhone calendar. “Funny, I don’t recall scheduling anything for today,” said Loewen. […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Man Still Sneaking Over to La Broquerie for Booze

April 5, 2024 Andrew

LA BROQUERIE, MB He’s been doing it for decades and just because Steinbach now has a liquor store of its own, and has for several years already, doesn’t mean Mr. Koop will stop sneaking over […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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