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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Drives 40 Minutes Out of Her Way to Go to the “Good” Thrift Store

March 8, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Despite protests from her husband who just didn’t understand, area woman Erin Stobbe drove nearly an hour from her inferior local thrift store to go to the “good one” in Altona. “Oba, my […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonalds Takes McRib Off the Menu Just Long Enough for People to Forget How Terrible It Is

March 6, 2024 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Millions of Canadians have lined up outside of McDonalds restaurants this winter for the return of a sandwich they’ve been told is not nearly as bad as they remember. “Yikes, I lined up […]

The Daily Bonnet

Royal Watchers Accidentally Show Up at William Prince Concert

March 5, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The last time retired couple Tina and Jake Neufeld of Steinbach encountered royalty was more than fifty years ago when the Queen paid a visit to their hometown of Steinbach. Now in their […]

Unger & Thirst

Abandoned Pizza Hut Serves as Lasting Monument to Human Ingenuity and Indigestion

March 4, 2024 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Impossible, due to its distinctive shape, to repurpose for any other use, abandoned Pizza Hut buildings have cropped up in cities and towns across the continent, a living testament to the ingenuity and […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift Announces New Album: ‘Tortured Mennonite Poets Department’

March 3, 2024 Andrew

WEST READING, PA Pop sensation Taylor Swift is venturing into new territory on her forthcoming 11th album – tortured Mennonite poets. “Of all the poets out there, I think the Mennonite poets are the most […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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