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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Couple Enrol Kids in Immersion School Thinking it’s a Baptismal Class

December 7, 2024 Andrew

STE. ANNE, MB When the Kehlers of the R.M. of Ste. Anne discovered a new baptismal class in the area, they immediately signed their kids up for classes. “You know, we’d prefer a pouring class, […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonites Unimpressed with Obvious Attempt to Buy Vogts

December 6, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON With money and tax breaks flowing out of Ottawa like a von Riesen out of 16th-century Friesland, several Mennonites are wondering whether this whole thing might just be a feeble attempt to buy […]

Unger the Influence

“Nah, we’re good”: Winnipeg Excluded from Plan to Make Canada the 51st US State

December 4, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A committee of 12 American delegates have arrived in Canada this week in hopes of adding a significant amount of territory to the American empire. “Everything was going okay until we arrived in […]

Unger the Influence

Joe Pardons Hunter Just in Time for “Giving Tuesday”

December 3, 2024 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Giving Tuesday is an annual day of generosity, drawing attention and support for worthy causes. In honour of Giving Tuesday this year, outgoing President Joe decided to give the most generous gift he […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Funeral to be Followed by ‘Girl Dinner’ in Church Gymnasium

December 2, 2024 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Ashley Thiessen, 29, of Winnipeg was sad about the death of her loved one, but felt some sense of relief when she found out great-grandma’s funeral was going to feature a totally epic […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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