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Articles by Andrew

Unger the Influence

Conservatives Form Majority Government

April 14, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After a barrage of floor crossing and a couple by-elections this week, Mark Carney and the Conservative Party of Canada have finally formed a majority government. “Canadians have spoken loud and clear—they want […]

Unger the Influence

“I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says

April 13, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC After posting a blasphemous AI-generated photo of himself as Jesus this weekend, President Trump is now saying he had no idea it was Jesus and actually thought it was him as a traditional […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church

April 12, 2026 Andrew

AYLMER, ON After months of reminders from his wife Susie to “dress sharp” for church once in a while, area man Rob Letkeman decided to wear his very best Carhartt jacket this Sunday. “And Carhartt […]

Unger Suspicion

Americans Demand the Flooding of Saskatchewan and Manitoba to Give their Ships Easier Access to Canadian Oil

April 11, 2026 Andrew

REGINA, SK Moments after striking a deal to get oil to flow through the Strait of Hormuz, American officials had their eyes on yet another barrier to trade – the massive landmass known as Saskatchewan. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event

April 10, 2026 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB A misheard radio announcement about National Poetry Month had thousands of chicken and turkey farmers across the RM of Hanover unintentionally showing up to hear poet Sarah Ens read from her latest publication […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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