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Month: June 2026

Unger the Influence

Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool

June 26, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Vacationers swimming in the Washington, DC Reflecting Pool vacated really quick this afternoon after someone “Caddyshacked” the pool. “I don’t know who did it or how it happened,” said Gary Kehler, “but when […]

Unger Conviction

300-Foot Gash Appears in MB Church Baptismal Tank

June 25, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A 300-foot long gash has appeared in the South Central Kildonan MB church baptismal tank this week, which has pastor Dave making accusations of vandalism. “It was the GCers I’m sure,” said Pastor […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs

June 24, 2026 Andrew

WINKLER, MB At faspa this week, James Dueck, 37, of Winkler scrambled out of the church gymnasium just as soon as he’d wolfed down his cheese curds and dills. The reason? He was sick and […]

Unger Suspicion

Libertarian Accidentally Walks Down Public Sidewalk

June 23, 2026 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Committed libertarian Rand Martens, 31, was walking home from his Dungeons and Dragons game this week when he found himself walking smack dab in the middle of a public sidewalk. “Oh, look at […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff

June 21, 2026 Andrew

TABER, AB A young Mennonite couple invited Dad over this Sunday afternoon to fix the leaking tap and a couple other things that were wrong with the house. “Happy Father’s Day, Dad,” said Samantha Penner. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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