The Daily Bonnet
Quiz Time! Real News or Satire? 2025 Edition
I used to do this annual quiz on the Daily Bonnet and I figured it was time to return to that tradition. So here it is, the annual news vs. satire quiz. Perfect to occupy […]
Month: December 2025
Unger Conviction
Mennonite Church Under Fire After Releasing Heavily Redacted Church Bulletin
EPSTEINBACH, MB A local Mennonite church is facing a lot of criticism this week after the Sunday bulletin was released in a heavily redacted form. “All 4 pages were blacked out,” said Mrs. Loewen, who […]
Unger Suspicion
Staunch Leftist Destroys Capitalism Aboard $60 Million Private Jet
BOSTON, MA Renowned anarcho-syndicalist and fierce critic of American foreign policy, professor Noam Chomsky has disclosed his newest and most effective strategy to destroy capitalism–being whisked away in a private jet by Jeffrey Epstein. “See, […]
The Daily Bonnet
Mennonite Pastor Stocks up for Communion
LEAMINGTON, ON Pastor Pete noticed the church was running low on Welch’s this week and decided to take the truck over to the superstore for some non-alcoholic communion juice. “I’m also stocking up in Ritz […]
The Daily Bonnet
How to Be a Performative Mennonite Male in 5 Easy Steps
If you want to attract a Mennonite woman, say at CMU or SBC or CBC or Goshen College or FPU, etc. there are just a few things you’re going to need.