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Month: January 2025

The Daily Bonnet

Janitor Left to Clean Up Huge Mess After Mennonite Women “Spill the Tea”

January 31, 2025 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Darren Klippenstein, janitor at Fifth Mennonite Church in Grunthal, rushed to the scene this evening after he heard the Women’s Quilting Club had spent all evening “spilling the tea.” “We didn’t make much […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Form Committee to Change Lightbulb

January 29, 2025 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN The Third Mennonite Church of Goshen has had a burned-out lightbulb for more than three months, all due to the fact that members could not agree on how and when and who should […]

Unger Suspicion

Empty Peavey Mart to be Replaced with Empty Pizza Hut

January 28, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Less than a year after opening its doors, the Peavey Mart in Steinbach will be closing shop to be replaced by an empty Pizza Hut. “We were really hoping an empty Safeway store […]

Unger Suspicion

Rather than Read Group Rules, Area Woman to Write “Please delete if not allowed” Before Every Post

January 27, 2025 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, SK Area woman Diane Klippenstein has a longstanding tradition of writing “please delete if not allowed” before every single social media post. “Whether I’m selling my canned beets or inquiring what time the Co-op […]

Unger Suspicion

Volkswagen Owner Mocks Tesla Owner for Driving a Car Built By a Fascist

January 26, 2025 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After recently discovering the dark underbelly of Tesla CEO Elon Musk, area man Art Klippenstein is relieved to know he drives a car with absolutely no association with right-wing authoritarian politics. “I was […]

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More from the unger review

  • What do you love most about Manitoba?
    May 12, 2020
  • Military Called In to Prevent Mennonite Woman from Getting Behind the Pulpit
    June 28, 2018
  • New Policy Seen as an ‘Attack’ on Traditional Mennonite Cousin-Marriage
    June 7, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Visits Every Single Chicken Chef in Manitoba
    July 11, 2020
  • Tipping Etiquette for Mennonites
    April 17, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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