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Month: August 2024

The Daily Bonnet

Theology Prof Accidentally Lectures Physics Class

August 31, 2024 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Pleased to see a full lecture hall full of students ready for his talk on the consubstantial nature of the trinity, Dr. Warkentin was a full 40 minutes into the class before Physics […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Shoplifting Rhubarb

August 30, 2024 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Area woman Maryanne Voth was so desperate to make platz this weekend that she found herself with a temptation she just couldn’t resist: rhubarb. “Usually Anges Froese provides me with all the rhubarb […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Who Lived Near a Mennonite Town for a Couple Years in the 80s Now Internet’s Top Expert on Mennonites

August 29, 2024 Andrew

LONDON, ON Area man Steve from London, Ontario has taken it upon himself to spout off his knowledge about Mennonites every chance he gets. “Any post about Mennonites and I’m there commenting,” said Steve. “After […]

Unger Conviction

Bible College Sells Record Number of Engagement Rings on Student Orientation Day

August 28, 2024 Andrew

TWO MOUNTAINS, AB Two Mountains Bible College sold a record 47 engagement rings by lunch on Student Orientation Day this year. “And another 38 by mid-afternoon,” said school President Alison Giesbrecht. “It seems the Lord […]

Unger Suspicion

Calgary’s Big Blue Ring To Undergo $63 Million Upgrade

August 27, 2024 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Just a decade after it first graced the Calgary skyline, the city’s most popular tourist attraction is set to undergo a massive upgrade. “As it is, the Big Blue Ring just couldn’t keep […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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