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Month: October 2020

Unger Conviction

Church Approves Muting Pastor’s Mic at Upcoming Service

October 22, 2020 Andrew

NASHVILLE, TN Attendees at the upcoming South Nashville Mennonite Church service this Sunday will be given the ability to mute the pastor whenever they think he’s off base or speaking out of turn. “After last […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hilarious New Show Features Leading Anabaptist Scholars in ‘Drunk Mennonite History’

October 21, 2020 Andrew

SOME CABIN IN THE WHITESHELL, MB A popular new television program is hoping to gather top Mennonite scholars from around the world to give their take on important historic Mennonite events such as the signing […]

Unger Conviction

Congregation Forced to Repeat “Good Morning” Over and Over Until it’s Loud Enough for the Pastor

October 20, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Darryl Friesen, 41, the hip new associate pastor at West Seminole Mennonite Church, took the stage for his sermon on Judges 19 this Sunday and was shocked by the half-hearted “good morning” he […]

Unger & Thirst

Impossible to Tell if Bearded Friend is Mennonite or Just Really Into Craft Beer

October 18, 2020 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN When a bearded young man named David moved to Goshen from the country a few months ago, his physical appearance had friendly locals unsure whether to invite him to a Bible study or […]

Unger Conviction

Christian Church Suddenly Realizes They’ve Been Singing Songs By Heretics For Decades

October 17, 2020 Andrew

KANSAS CITY, KS Since the mid-90s the EBMC church of Kansas City has been bringing catchy songs that were popular on Christian radio into their Sunday morning worship “set”, all under the assumption that anything […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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