The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Month: June 2020

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loses Thousands Betting on Replays of Last Year’s Football Games

June 20, 2020 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Mr. Unger was so excited to finally be able to watch some Canadian football games this week that he bet his friend Mr. Toews more than ten thousand dollars that the Ticats […]

Unger Games

NHL Says 11 Players Have Tested Positive for Mullets

June 19, 2020 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY The 2020 NHL season is in grave doubt this week after the league announced that 11 players have already tested positive for mullets. “After reopening arenas and practice facilities on June 8, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Homeschool Grad Has Drive-In Ceremony on His Own Driveway

June 19, 2020 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Following the model of high schools across the continent, 19-year-old homeschooler Danny Wiebe of Leamington, Ontario pulled the family minivan onto the driveway this afternoon for his COVID-safe graduation ceremony. “I gave him […]

The Daily Bonnet

Andrew Unger Answers the Web’s Most-Searched Questions About Mennonites

June 18, 2020 Andrew

If you’ve ever searched The Google you’ll probably have noticed that they like to predict what you’re going to ask even before you ask it, just like how Taunte Lina always knows before you’re finished […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Garden Thief Claims She Was “Just Trying to Make Somma Borscht”

June 17, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB An undercover stakeout of the Plett’s garden last night had led the arrest of Mrs. Dueck, 61, caught red-handed stealing all the ingredients necessary to make a delicious somma borscht. “Oba, why’d she […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 4 … 6 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Offering Plate is Always Mysteriously Empty After it Passes By Old Mr. Klassen’s Row
    December 11, 2016
  • Mennonite Church to Host UFC
    October 6, 2025
  • Massive Amounts of Halva Left Over Yet Again This Year
    December 25, 2016
  • Economical Mennonite Woman’s Been Using the Same Mask Since This Whole Thing Started
    July 26, 2020
  • Mennonites Desperately Search for Cheap Used Netflix Subscriptions at MCC Store
    December 3, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved