The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Month: August 2019

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Football Player Suspended Two Games after Testing Positive for Papsi and Ravel

August 26, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a wee bit too much Papsi and Ravel was found in his system, Andreas Heinrichs has been suspended from playing the next two games of the EMBC church touch football league. “Oba, […]

Unger Games

NFL to Adopt New “Thriftier” 80-Yard Field for Upcoming Season

August 25, 2019 Andrew

OAKLAND, CA Spurred on by all the positive feedback from the game in Winnipeg last week, the National Football League formally announced today that they would be using a much shorter and “thriftier” field for […]

Unger Suspicion

World Health Organization Bans Reading Internet Comments

August 24, 2019 Andrew

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND A new study from the World Health Organization has revealed a new number one killer around the world: reading online comments. In 2018 alone, comment-reading was known to have caused more than two […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman “Wins the Lottery” After Mrs. Brubacher’s Clothes Blow into Her Yard

August 22, 2019 Andrew

HEIDELBERG, ON Mrs. Eby is feeling like she won the lottery this week after a particularly windy day blew all of Mrs. Brubacher’s clothes right into her yard. “This should keep the Ebys supplied all […]

Unger Suspicion

Mysterious Mennonite Man to Start for Green Bay Packers in Winnipeg Thursday

August 21, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Peter Wiebe’s cousin Kjnels from Swift Current Colony, Mexico will be starting for the Green Bay Packers as they face the Oakland Raiders in an exhibition match in Winnipeg Thursday night. “I can’t […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 … 7 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Early Results Show Mennonite Pastor in Commanding Lead
    November 8, 2016
  • Jets Add Mennonite Sunday School Teacher to Lowly Power Play Unit
    March 23, 2023
  • Mennonites Caught Smuggling Dirty Rubber Boots Across the Border
    June 19, 2018
  • Felix Manz, Forgotten Second Rebaptizer, Declared “Buzz Aldrin” of the Anabaptists
    January 22, 2025
  • Second Bag of Old Dutch Chips Discovered in Box
    May 15, 2022

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved