The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

Month: August 2018

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Folklorama Pavilion the Only One Without Booze or Dancing

August 10, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Folklorama, Winnipeg’s annual celebration of the city’s cultural diversity, is known for bringing the sights, tastes, and sounds of the world to the good people of Manitoba. The infamous Mennonite Pavilion, however, has […]

Unger Games

Elderly Mennonite Woman Picks Off Johnny Manziel Four Times in CFL Debut

August 9, 2018 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC The Hamilton Tigercats were so confident in their ability to stop controversial former college star Johnny Manziel this week that they decided to bring in an elderly Mennonite woman on defence. And, boy, […]

Unger & Thirst

Hipsters Flock to Rural Manitoba to Take Selfies with Knackzoat

August 8, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After being warned to stay away from the sunflower plants, thousands of Winnipeg hipsters have descended upon corner stores and gas stations across southern Manitoba to have their pictures taken next to bags […]

Unger Suspicion

Pope Francis Bans Death Penalty; “Except, of course, for manspreaders,” he says

August 7, 2018 Andrew

VATICAN CITY Pope Francis modified centuries of church teaching this week by calling for the near complete abolishment of the death penalty, except for “particularly heinous crimes such as manspreading and those freakin’ annoying guys […]

Unger Suspicion

Selfie-Taking City Woman Eaten By Giant Mutant Venus Sunflower Plant

August 6, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB This summer thousands of city people have been flocking to the countryside to trample on farmer’s fields and take their stupid selfies with sunflower plants. Now it seems, the plants are beginning to […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 4 5 6 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Jason Aldean Releases Controversial New Song “Try That In A Small Mennonite Town”
    July 22, 2023
  • Manitoba Health Data to Be Reported Using Flannelgraph Boards
    March 31, 2022
  • Mysterious Formations Appear on Church Parking Lot Overnight
    August 27, 2020
  • World’s “Most Powerful Nation” Loses Yet Another War
    August 17, 2021
  • Tide Pods Added to Grandma’s Delightful Faspa Spread
    January 20, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved