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Month: December 2016

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Arrested for Saying ‘Merry Christmas’

December 24, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Every Mennonite’s biggest fear came true this past week, as an elderly man from rural Manitoba ventured into Winnipeg on a holiday shopping spree and innocently greeted each person he met with a hearty […]

The Daily Bonnet

Surly Mennonite Man Plans to Ruin Christmas for All the Children at Church Tonight

December 24, 2016 Andrew

TANNENAU, MB A zealous Mennonite man at the local EMBBM church will be taking time out of his busy schedule of handing out tracts to strangers at the mall, to stop and tell each and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Banned from Saying ‘Oba’

December 23, 2016 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A new federal law that forbids Mennonites from saying ‘oba‘ has come under fierce opposition from the Canadian Mennonite community. “Oba, this law makes just no sense,” said Pastor Art Harms of Leamington, Ontario. “Oba […]

The Daily Bonnet

Altona Man Begins Christmas Shopping Early This Year

December 23, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mr. Peter Sawatzky of the Altona area got a head start on his Christmas shopping this year as he rushed to the Altona 10,000 Villages store today to buy some fair trade coffee […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandmas Frantically Fill Paper Bags with Peanuts

December 22, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Grandmothers throughout southern Manitoba have been working in shifts at a local factory to fill tens of thousands of paper bags with peanuts in time for upcoming Christmas gatherings. The paper bags, also […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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